Not Your Keys, Not Your Crypto
The most important thing you'll ever learn in crypto
⚠️ REALITY CHECK
If you don't control the private keys, you don't own anything. You're just another creditor waiting to get rekt when the platform rugs, gets hacked, or "loses" your funds.
WTF Are Private Keys?
Your Keys = Your Crypto
Private keys are the passwords to your crypto. They're a long string of random characters that prove you own the tokens. Whoever has the keys can move the funds. Period.
🔑 Private Key
The actual key that controls your funds. Never share this with anyone. EVER.
📝 Seed Phrase
12-24 words that generate your private keys. This IS your wallet. Lose it = lose everything.
📍 Public Address
Where people send you crypto. Safe to share, like your bank account number.
Why Exchanges Will Rug You
Every Exchange is a Ticking Time Bomb
- Mt. Gox (2014): 850,000 BTC gone (~$460M at time). Source: Tokyo court filings, CoinDesk
- QuadrigaCX (2019): $190M lost when CEO allegedly died with keys. Source: Ernst & Young court documents
- FTX (2022): $8B+ customer funds missing, bankruptcy filing. Source: FTX bankruptcy court documents
- Celsius (2022): $4.7B hole, withdrawals frozen. Source: Celsius bankruptcy filing, Chapter 11
- BlockFi (2022): Filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy, $1B+ liabilities. Source: SEC filings, bankruptcy court
- Voyager (2022): Filed bankruptcy, $1.3B in customer crypto frozen. Source: Voyager bankruptcy filing
- Genesis (2023): $3B+ liabilities, lending platform collapse. Source: Genesis bankruptcy filing, CoinDesk
Pattern Recognition: Every few years, major exchanges blow up. It's not IF, it's WHEN. Don't be exit liquidity for the next one.
How to Actually Own Your Crypto
How Not to Lose Your Shit
Seed Phrase Security
- Write it on paper/metal, never digital
- Store in multiple secure locations
- Use a fireproof safe
- Consider metal seed storage
- Never enter it on websites
- Test recovery before storing large amounts
Never Fucking Do This
- Screenshot your seed phrase
- Store it in cloud/email/notes
- Share it with "support"
- Enter it on random sites
- Use one wallet for everything
- Ignore backup procedures
The Degen Wallet Setup
🎰 Tier 1: Yolo Wallet (Hot)
For pump.fun trading and daily plays. Only keep what you can afford to lose. This gets compromised? No big deal.
💰 Tier 2: Trading Wallet (Hot)
For active positions and DeFi. Use a separate device/browser. Enable all security features.
🏦 Tier 3: Cold Storage (Hardware)
Your retirement fund. Long-term holds. Never connect to sketchy sites. This is your fort knox.
Pro Tip:
Use different seed phrases for each tier. If one gets compromised, you don't lose everything.
If You Must Use Exchanges
Sometimes you need to use CEXs for fiat on/off ramps. Here's how to minimize risk:
- Get In, Get Out: Don't use exchanges as wallets. Buy/sell and withdraw immediately.
- Whitelist Addresses: Set withdrawal addresses and lock them with 2FA.
- Use Multiple Exchanges: Don't put all eggs in one basket.
- Hardware Wallet Address: Always withdraw to hardware wallet, not another exchange.
- Document Everything: Screenshots, txids, amounts. You'll need proof when they rug.
Scams That Target Your Keys
🎣 Phishing Sites
Fake websites that look identical to real ones. Always check URLs.
💬 Fake Support
"Hi sir, I'm from support. Please verify your seed phrase." = Instant rug
📱 Malicious Apps
Fake wallet apps on app stores. Only download from official sources.
🎁 Airdrop Scams
"Enter seed phrase to claim airdrop" = You're the airdrop (to scammer).
🔄 Update Scams
"Update your wallet by entering seed phrase" = Never legit.
Recommended: Get a Hardware Wallet
If you have more than $1000 in crypto and don't have a hardware wallet, you're taking unnecessary risks. Seriously.
🏆 Trezor (Best Overall)
- ✓ Open source (verifiable on GitHub)
- ✓ Battle-tested since 2014 (10+ years)
- ✓ No major security breaches
- ✓ Great for beginners
Remember This Forever
📌 Not your keys = Not your crypto
📌 Every exchange will eventually fail
📌 Hardware wallets are not optional for serious money
📌 Your seed phrase IS your wallet
📌 No one legitimate will ever ask for your keys
📌 Test everything with small amounts first
Ignore this guide = Get rugged. It's that simple.